The vows are the most well-known part of a wedding ceremony. But did you know that they are defined by law?
Legal Vows
The vows required by law are:
I call upon the people here present to witness that I [your name], take you [Spouse’s name] to be my lawful wedded husband/wife/spouse.
So how is it that all your friends and family got to make their romantic declarations of love and/or poke a little bit of fun at one another?
Personal Vows
Personal vows are entirely optional, so it’s up to you if you want to include them. If one of you wants to make them and the other doesn’t, that’s okay too.
Your wedding should be about what you want, and we can work together to give each partner their moment in the spotlight, so that all of your friends and family can see why you chose to marry that one wonderful person.
The only rules when writing your own vows is that they cannot contradict the legal vows. Other than that, you are free to say whatever you like.
Some couples write their vows together, others choose to keep them secret until the big day. At one of my favourite weddings the bridal party wrote the couple’s vows for them.
Some Tips for Writing Your Own Vows
- Start Early: Give yourself ample time to brainstorm, write, and revise.
- Practice them out loud: Get used to saying the words and make sure you like the way they sound.
- Talk to Your Partner: Discuss expectations, tone, and length of the vows. Decide if you want to keep them a surprise or share them beforehand together.
- Brainstorm and Reflect: Make a list of qualities you love about your partner, special memories, and promises you want to make.
- Find Inspiration: Think about poems, quotes, or songs that resonate with your love story.
- Be Yourself: Don’t feel pressured to use overly flowery language if it’s not genuine to you.
- Keep it Quick: Aim for 1-2 minutes to keep your vows heartfelt without being lengthy.
- Focus on Promises: Include commitments for the future, both during happy times and challenges.
- Consider Humor: A lighthearted touch can make your vows even more special.
- Get Feedback: Think about asking a trusted friend or family member to listen and offer suggestions.